


Hot chocolate

by Bill_Longbow



Series: Happy Steve bingo [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Big Happy Family, Steve Rogers is a little shit, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: Like most things it started on accident. Because SHIELD personnel never treated him as anything but a complete imbecile regarding any technology more advanced than a bicycle Steve adopted the habit to act like a moron.





	Hot chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> My first fill for the happy Steve bingo, finally! It's for the square "social media".
> 
> A huge thank you to the wonderful Araydre for making me art! Go look at [Aray's other beautiful work](http://http://araydre.tumblr.com/) and give her all the love!
> 
> Another thank you to Elizalovesfanfic for betaing!

Steve walked as silently as he could, skirting the wall until he came upon the doorpost. He put the camera of his phone on recording and held it around the corner, biting on his lower lip in an effort not to laugh and wobble the camera.  
  
He could easily have Jarvis record it for him, but he liked the thrill of possibly being caught, and his viewers seemed to appreciate the personal approach of a hand held camera.  
  
"Why?" Tony lamented, combing a frustrated hand through his hair. "I just don't..." he trailed off when Clint put a comforting hand on his shoulder. The two of them were huddled around where Thor was making hot chocolate in the coffee machine.  
  
"BECAUSE IT'S A DELICIOUS BEVERAGE, MAN OF IRON, AND IS IT NOT FIT FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON?" Thor boomed while clapping a huge hand on Tony's shoulder, making the smaller man sag a bit.  
  
Steve lost his struggle with laughter and quickly pulled back his arm to retreat on tiptoes. The smell of burning cacao got too much for him anyway.  
  
  
  
As expected the video was a huge hit, gathering millions of likes in just a few days to the great annoyance of Tony, even if the coffee machine was right as rain the same afternoon. Steve would feel awful if they inadvertently destroyed something, so they always ran their ideas past Jarvis, who was an accomplished schemer and Steve vowed to himself to never get on _his_ bad side.

Like most things it started on accident. Because SHIELD personnel never treated him as anything but a complete imbecile regarding any technology more advanced than a bicycle Steve adopted the habit to act like a moron. It was much more fun than trying to defend himself, and better for his blood pressure too. He started with dropping his phone every other day, fumbling it between his large hands, smiling apologetically at whoever had the misfortune of being his guide to the 21st century that day. When, after the 7th broken glass, they issued him with an indestructible Stark Phone he got into texting. He sent texts like they were official letters, with a formal header and signed his full name. Even if the message was just “yes.” It drove people up the wall. And because of his big, clumsy hands (pre established fact), he got away with sending messages compiled of complete gibberish. Memorable was the day when one of the more unpleasant SHIELD agents left his quarters close to tears after trying to teach him to “swype”.

So, when Steve observed Thor trying and failing to master the common floor’s toaster oven, smiling sincerely as he served everyone half burnt, half raw frozen waffles; he knew he was dealing with a kindred spirit. It wasn’t until Thor had ran Clint off after an hour long explanation about the intricacies of the Internet by asking if this “web” (quotation marks included) was located in a pocket dimension because he couldn’t see it, that Steve confronted the demigod. Their consequent talk lasted hours and Steve laughed so hard it almost felt like an asthma attack. The God of Thunder had learned well from his little brother, and Steve vowed never to get on _his_ bad side either.

While their teammates usually treated them better than the outside world, they still largely ignored the two of them when it was about anything involving technology. Not because the others thought they were stupid, but because of some misconception they either weren’t interested in technology, or hadn’t had the opportunity to study it yet. Which was why Thor and him decided to troll them a little.

So far they managed to have the sprinklers go off in the common floor kitchen (Thor), made their teammates eat a disgusting, tasteless mush by calling it his mom’s favourite dish (Steve), adopted a Roomba as an electronic pet (Thor) and set said roomba loose in Tony’s workshop (the clip of Dum-E and U chasing after it was still the most popular one of Steve’s YouTube channel), and to ask Bruce if teabagging was a necessary procedure for his special blends (Steve). This was besides their regular bet of how long they could engage someone in explaining stuff to them. (So far, Steve was in the lead with having Peter try to explain “yeet” to him and only giving up after two hours, twelve minutes and seven seconds.)

  
  


With Thor’s hot chocolate prank, it was Steve’s turn to come up with something to publish next. It was getting harder to keep up the dumb act in this house of super spies and geniuses. Perhaps it was time for one final Prank to show the team once and for all who they were dealing with.

He was walking home from his morning run, contemplating what to do. The city was lit up with millions of fairy lights because of the holiday season and Avenger’s tower stood out like a beacon, with millions of lights of it own. Tony and Rhodey personally put them into place in their armours, a spectacle in itself that drew countless of people to their corner of Manhattan. Tony could make the lights flicker in time to music and program it into patterns and images, something he usually did on christmas day. Steve absolutely loved it. It had all the drama and grandeur and fantasy that he liked about these modern times, and living in Tony’s tower especially. As he walked the final mile an idea took shape.

  
  
“Tony, why is there a crowd downstairs? Did you insult someone again?” Nat asked as she stood sipping hot cocoa (made the old fashioned way) near the window.

Steve studiously did not look up from where he was stirring a fresh batch of hot chocolate in a pan. He was glad he was standing all the way over in the kitchen so no one saw the pink on his ears.

“Probably, not on purpose though,” Tony replied barely understandable around a screwdriver in his mouth. He was fixing Thor’s pet who had tried to climb up the wall after Peter. Ever since Tony had upgraded the thing with a rudimentary AI it followed the team around like a puppy, randomly vacuuming stuff, but it was most fond of Peter. Steve wouldn’t be surprised if Tony was gonna give it spider legs next.

“Probably the lights, people are pointing,” Nat commented and let herself drop onto the sofa, next to Tony.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, but then Steve heard Tony put the screwdriver down, and he knew exactly how his face would be scrunched up in momentary confusion.

“The lights aren’t supposed to do anything special at the moment. Jarvis?”

“Sir?”

Steve loved the AI as much as its creator. Only Falsworth had rivaled it in dry as a desert humour.

“Fine, don’t tell me. Put up a visual, please,” Tony grumped.

Steve turned off the stove and poured the perfect beverage into a mug, adding an espresso and topping it off with a generous amount of whipped cream. He took the mug over to where his team sat silently watching the video feed, and put it into Tony's unresisting hand.

Coding the lights had been child's play after Jarvis had nudged him towards the right online course. Steve hadn't been stupid to begin with, and the serum enhanced his cognitive functions just as much as his physical attributes. He had designed a chibi version of himself, surrounded by binary code saying “Tony, will you go out with me?”

He might've gone too far though. For all he knew he had misread the signs. God knew his paltry social skills had _not_ not benefited from the serum. Maybe the heart eyes had been a bit too much? Just the code was enough for Tony, wasn’t it? He ignored the rest of the team’s looks as he stared nervously at Tony who stared at the feed, then confused at the mug in his hand, followed by an even more confused look at Steve. He tried to put on his most inviting, boyish smile for Tony, but wasn’t sure he managed more than an awkward grimace.

“OH MY GOD, CAP, YOU’VE GONE VIRAL,” Peter screeched at the room at large while busily typing on his phone, and kicking Steve and Tony out of their bubble of non communicative staring.

“For real?” Tony asked, doing that head tilt like when he was solving a puzzle that Steve found so endearing.

Steve nodded hopeful in answer. “No pranks,” he added with a grin which turned into a full laugh at Tony’s look of outrage.

“My dear old coffee machine?”

“That one was Thor’s idea.” Steve folded his arms in front of chest. He was getting nervous with Tony’s lack of answer.

“You’re lucky that wasn’t you, Rogers.” Tony said mollified, taking his time to sip from his mocha latte. “Will there be more of these babies?” he asked after he licked the whipped cream of his upper lip.

“As many as you want, Tony…”

“C’mon, just kiss already,” Clint yelled from the couch. “For a genius he really isn’t very clever,” he added in lower voice. “Oww, you said so your-- oww, stop it, woman.”

“Tony?” Steve dropped onto his haunches next to Tony’s seat, trying to tune his team out. Mesmerized, Steve watched as Tony slowly bent forward, and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss.

“Of course, Wing head.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the 16+ [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


End file.
